Unfeeling

Your eyes could possibly make you deeply sad

When you accidentally seen something bad

You are about to run away then

Push the thing till you lost but you know exactly that is hard

You mad at yourself, so you gonna be freak out

Rumpled thought that pain you so

Even big laugh can not save you sudden

Worst punch hug impossible to cure you

You are on your deepest sorrow world
No one can reach you out!

Knowing

People walked near and around me

But I still stranger on me and them

They do not know me so do I

Just gave me some quick stares then off

It was not their fault, was none

Hear is rare thing, listen is extinct

Talk is common, speak is exist

I try to figure out them through me

Basically, we are just the same

But unfortunately I can't do that

Knowing you is hard as same as knowing me

Communication is just a label, just a way

Understand is more powerful right way

The circle of life maybe come on hundreds

People are come and gone like winds

How's life knowing you then?

Well, let's die first!

Random

I heard a lot of sounds since my first born

Then saw anything that beautiful until even worst

Thankful to God, I am complete me

I am growing up with those ability

But sometimes I lost in crowd

Too much things to learn and see than I sick

Sound of silent is more beautiful than talking

Beside crack in my heart a lot times

Makes have to cure me immediately

I often pretend to the world that I am okay

Truth, I am not at all

People often bad to me and I good alone

Standing middle storm then lost again

Foes glad at me so I let them gone

I wish that I live in different place and time

When foes and friends are not met each other

What Ours

Part 4

   Seniors said that we have to come to campus about 7 o'clock in the morning for the top event of all. We had to bring food, water, slayer and little bravery maybe because we had to walk around forest near my college and gather again when noon. Afraid? Ya! but also curious too. Okay, this is it. The big day came! Hem sigh deeply and yap move on! We made a group of 7 which consist of 10 people and walk in different way so we couldnt meet each other in posts. I had 2 boys in my group and 8 girls inside. Large number isnt it? It is enough to make a small parade. Okay, back to the topic, at the first we walked happily and complete but you know? The struggle is about to begin after that.

Butterflies Inside

My stomach is weird

It is like something grumbling inside

I keep on thinking on something that make me look so silly

I can not hide it again not anymore

Need to release that feel about right now

Someone or something please help me through this feel

Can not wait until the sun is rising tomorrow

Believe me, there is butterflies inside

What Ours

Part 3

   What date is it tomorrow?  I heard someone said "12 September" near me, but I dont know who said that. I am shocking. Tomorrow, we will begin the department orientation. Pleasure? No! but Yes! but ehmm let's think about it later. What should I take for the big day tomorrow? Hem let's see, I have to bring something but not in a real "thing", I think it called "Courage". Ya, I have walked through this so far and I just want to walk even more. Challenges will always follow your life, kiddo. Maybe, I will not tell you my experience on my Faculty Orientation, it made me sick and homesick. The story will be 3 times longer if I put that into this section. Beside, the real story which touching is this!

What Ours

Part 2

   Rrrrttt, rrrrttt my phone was shaking. Hope, that from my friend. However, it more crowded here.

       "Hello you are here? I am wearing black scarf and blue T-shirt. Where are you?" I replied soon.

       "Hello I am in front of the pond, could you meet me a sec?"

       "Okay, meet me there ya."

   Whooaaa what a glad! At least she can show me, my friends from my department. Someone is coming. She wore black scarf and blue T-shirt, white skin and chubby face, is she my friend whom I text? How if, it doesnt her? Thousand questions and grumbling heart at same time but ya, its her, what a relief, gals! I call her, Nuy. We were shaking hands and we walked through the crowd and she introduced me to the others. I am very thankful to God in every single step I taken to my friends. I promise, I will go on by my self after this. But the eyes, still make me uncomfort, they stared at me a lot times and I hate it!

   I made it. I made it one, two, three, ..., seven. I got seven friends in a time and will be more. All are progesteron, where's the testosteron actually? I decide to not take a bussiness. It doesnt matter at all, boys are difficult to hang around if there are more girls inside right? Then, I watched around me and boys and girls and seniors are at the same topic, new freshman orientation. It is two days and I thought I could easily pass the rocks. The announcement begun soon when we all finished entering the biggest room there. I mean a lot of announcement.

   Excited first, bored then. I didnt get what the seniors said to us. Its too much people whispered and hot also no space between you and your friends. So, all my concentrations spend on how to get a good position without disturbing someone else? What a day! 1 hour to go, and it was like a jail with 400 hundred people. I know that was an information, important. Waiting, was the best option I chosen. Aaannnddd done! Which mean I could breath anymore. Thankyou, Thankyou God!! What I supposed to do next for my duties? Orientation always gives you a lot of duties, no doubt. Kids from my department gather in a big group and we took a picture. A first picture we took, the story begun and for the next four years.

What Ours

That day, I stood in front of the building and sun shine so bright until I got little brown and you with your style came to me and the story begun ...

Part 1

    I dont ever thought that I had to feel this way. I never expected what I will get when I just arrived here. Here? Ya in college, when everything's still new and "unknown" for me. Stranger silent walking around me. I am lost. Shame! I am almost 18 years and I still feared about crowd, just dont like it! Back to the college, I am totally a freshman, what I supposed to do in very "new" land? But, okay I will do my best here.

   I have known some of my becoming friends, before. They look cool, but we'll see. On my first day college, I was so excited that I couldn't say a word. I felt little bit shame, afraid, fear and grumbling and confused and and and more thousand and ... It was 2 pm and I walked with someone I known from my course, he's kind. Sun was so proud about it self, it bother me at all. Sweats were appeared without permission first, made me uncomfort then. How can I show up with a liter sweats on me? Oh my.. Tissues dont help me, dont if you have to throw it every time you done.

   I tried to be chill, but I couldnt. Too many things I thought, so I just concentrated with my walk and less talk with him. I am so sorry for doing that to you, bro. Honestly I was nervous. After walking about 20 minutes finally, I got there. What a pleasure and what a crowd! It's a big NO! I have few friends here and dont know where they are or what they look like. Abstract! I hate it. Realized that was an emergency "need friends", I decided to text one of my friends. What for? For get to know her, that I am arrived and just want to say hello, maybe? Okay, I admit it, say hello was a second option, the truth was I need friend! RIGHT NOW!

It's Me

Aku adalah aku
Yang nyaman menjadi diriku dengan segala bentuk sifat dan perilaku ku
Aku orang yang mudah menuangkan pada cawan lain
Tapi jika ada yang menuangkan padaku, akan aku jaga isinya dengan baik
Aku mudah jatuh dan sering kali terseok
Aku mungkin butuh orang yang lebih kuat daripada ku yang bisa menopang ku setiap saat aku jatuh
Pasti jika aku hidup di jaman kemerdekaan, aku mati pertama
Dan jika aku hidup dari keturunan raja-raja pastilah aku paling pertama teraniaya
Untungnya aku tidak hidup pada keduanya
Aku hidup pada hidupku yang Tuhan anugerahkan hanya untukku
Aku terlalu Rapuh sesekali dan apabila aku merasa kuat itu hanya perasaan sesaat
Aku adalah aku
Yang nyaman menjadi diriku dengan segala bentuk sifat dan perilaku ku

-Unknown-

I felt so hard to gain my best
Think deeply and exercises
With pain and sorrow sometimes
But will never always equals with want
Sometimes you down, sometimes you up
Often with success and happiness inside
God never sleep and He exactly know His believers who work with heart
Problems make you strong in the future
Pray, Work, Pray and Spirit!!!

Fragile

Didnt like another else
Has something special in you make you fragile than anyone
It could be easy or difficult
But lifes are same as others, harsh
And human are unique from every side
Life and reality are connected into one
Only different can stand but with storm inside
Still fragile and will survive

Thrown Away Boxes

Ya, my box is small and not enchanted at all
But, it comes from pure things
And could keep until thousands
My box is not resistance for bad feel
It makes little damage on it
My box is fine until you came and gave your world
Mine did open widely
Although my past remind me then
Mine said "careful", mind said "go through, I know the risks"
Never thought that I had to feel this way
After you done give you world you gone away
With my box with you
Mine said "what i said?", I just sad and pain then
Now I have to make another box, which will stronger and more beautiful
Beside, time will cure me soon